It happened again last night. It was our weekly get-together where we are supposed to be able to share our weeks.. brag, complain, explain. Where the others should listen, sympathize and care. I’ve said it before. Several of the women there want (and get) attention when they are telling their tales; when I try to share my life (which is as different from theirs as their lives are from mine), they turn to small private conversations and dismiss anything I have to say.
I sat quietly last night through a rant about stupid (and illegal) things a co-worker was saying; and through a (too long) discussion of the problem one woman had at work last week that made her angry enough to cry. I GET it, I GOT it, but she went on. I tried to move the discussion along:
“I’m sorry you had a bad week, because mine was so good…” Gee, in any setting I’ve been in, this would be where a caring person, a friend, would says: Oh, I’d love to hear about it.
Nope. “It wasn’t a bad week, it was just this bad day.” and probably more about it with a strong signal that she didn’t give a fuck about what my week entailed. Later in the evening, when another gal showed up and asked me about my conference, the others again turned their backs and started up a private conversation.
And they wonder why I’m reluctant to participate in weekend retreats and things. Survey most of the women there, I’ll bet they can’t tell you one thing about the conference I attended. Nor my excitement at just contemplating video blogging…
Hmm. I’m going to trying to cut down on the negative energy around me (not gossiping, not feeling sorry for myself, not doing the negative). These evenings might be a real challenge…
I need to make some new friends who actually care and are willing to listen.