Tale of the Scale: Letting Go of Messages

Weight: going up and down a couple pounds so my body’s having fun! Perfectly normal.

Working out: I’m getting 3-4 good workouts a week. These are 1.5 hour workouts with cardio, stretching/stability and weight training each. I even put in a good workout when I don’t feel like it. So this part is stuck, too.

I’ve been thinking this week about the messages I received from my parents; the messages I’ve been really fighting to overcome this year:

I am unloveable.
I am not important because I am female.
I should settle for what I can get easily.
As long as I’m NOT UNHAPPY, I should be satisfied.
Economic security is the most important factor in a job or relation.
If I don’t get what I want, it’s because I aimed too high.

A few weeks ago, I requested a workshop group stand between me and these negative thoughts. I really didn’t have time to fight them and get the work done I needed. As odd it might sound, about the time that the group would have been given the request, the messages quieted.

And they stayed quiet until this week.

I know part of what allowed these messages back in my head is knowing that this week is the anniversary of my mother’s death. I don’t remember the exact day; and I’m not sure of the exact year. I think it was 5 years ago. I know her funeral was the day that Dr. Romano was killed in the helicopter crash on ER. THAT I remember.

My mother had advanced Alzheimers and lived years longer than she would have wanted. Her death was a blessing. And as the author of many of those messages in my head, she wasn’t the loving supporting maternal spirit that others mourn when they lose a parent.

So I’m back to acting in ways that will prove these past messages wrong; and replacing these messages with more positive ideas. It’s as exercising as the work I do in the gym.

I also blog at: A Stitch In Time throughout the week and BlogHer on Mondays and Saturdays.


One response to “Tale of the Scale: Letting Go of Messages

  1. It’s wonderful that you have the strength to fight those messages! Just recognizing them for what they are isn’t enough. Seeing you fight those messages, makes me so very proud that I can call such a strong woman my friend.

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