Still Here

I know I’ve been quiet this past week (as opposed to quiet for the months before).  Truthfully, I’ve been quiet in mind, so it’s spread to my life.  I started a new medication (an SNRI) and it might be part of brain adjusting itself.

I’ve been quiet everywhere, sitting and observing life closely.  Noticing the patterns and details for the first time in a long time.  At the gym, I’m equally drawn to working hard – seeing how much I can push, how long I can go – and resting, observing those around me: their work plans, their form, their moves.

I’ve even stopped listening to my music while I work.  With activity all around me, I’m wrapped in silence.

I do have things I want to share with you: why I think traditional barbell squats may be the answer for me; why I’m returning to being a flexitarian; a week long test of hydrating with coconut water instead of plain water; maybe a video on plank variations.

It’s coming as soon as I tire of the quiet…

To let you know:  I am working out every other day.  Usually my standard 20-30 minutes of cardio followed by an hour or so of full-body weight training.  Last week I added back some sessions with trainer Adam.  I realized I haven’t been working hard enough, which might explain the slight weight gain, or at least the failure to burn these last few pounds of fat.

He puts me through my paces and makes sure that at the end of our hour I’m begging for it all to end.  Then he gives me a hug and tells me to go stretch for at least 10 minutes before I shower. Y’all got to love someone that will work you hard, then hug your sweaty stinking self as a reward!

Last workout, I did about 60 pushups spaced throughout the workout: “we’ll do lunges then drop and give me 10 push ups; we’ll do triceps then drop and give me 10 pushups; we’ll do…” you get the picture.  When I got tired, I was allowed to change to knee-down pushups – I’m surprised how much easier these are!  Still, by the end of the workout I was kneeling on the floor praying for it to end.

Remarkably, with all that work I was not sore afterward.

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One response to “Still Here

  1. I loved your line on Mizfit and added it to my collection of favorite quotes. I hope that is okay.

    You said:
    Part of the process is to learn how to live by the boundaries we choose for ourselves in a world that does not have boundaries. I hope it makes us stronger in the long run. Not angry or bitter or deprived. Stronger. More confident. More ourselves. And eventually healthier and happier.

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