2011 Focus: The Me of Now

December Fitness Check-In

125# and 20% body fat

Two years ago, I had a remarkable late November and December.  In 6 weeks of heavy metabolic workouts and HIIT cardio, I managed to gain 8# of muscle while losing 10″ on my torso and a net 4″.  You’ve heard that muscle is dense-and that lifting heavy and doing HIIT burns fat?  This was the proof.

Five days a week I headed to the gym for a one hour workout.    I would start sweating within the first 5 minutes and not stop until well after I left the gym-even after a cooling shower.

This year, I’m sad to say that I’ve reverted to a more “normal” middle agedlook.  A year of injury and limited activity-plus my demon depression– has kept me from the gym. Not surprisingly, I gain back all the weight I lost and once again I’m back to 158#.

Fitness Check In-12/24/10

I’ve been feeling defeated -constantly looking back and comparing my current self with that past woman.  It’s my own personal form of self-abuse and I’m sure many women go through this: comparing themselves with their earlier lives:

  • their pre-college bodies
  • their pre-baby bodies
  • their 20 year selves when they’re 40.
  • their pre-illness selves -when they had health.
  • whatever keystone of their past where they hold them as being their very best self/where they are today.

These comparisons accomplish NOTHING POSITIVE.  We will never return to that place.  More importantly, if tomorrow I were to wake up looking like my former self -but not having put in the work to get there- I could not now maintain it.  That body came from work -and was maintained by the same level of work.  It is the experience of growing to a good place that makes that place rewarding.

Today, I am healed and getting back on the right track.  The challenge for me NOW is to accept where I am today -not looking back or forward.  I am choosing to start 2011 by focusing on the me of now.

*You can view my monthly check-ins in my Flickr set.


2 responses to “2011 Focus: The Me of Now

  1. And what do I know about you now?
    You are strong
    You are wise
    You know a lot about cooking & fitness **wink wink thanks for all of your helpful hints!**
    You are funny
    You are kind

  2. What a great post Deb. I think most of us look back and compare. I tend to do that when I look through old pictures. Why don’t we ever appreciate that moment at the time?! I remember looking at those pics, being just as critical!

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